It’s hard to believe that another year has come and gone so quickly. It feels like only mere days ago that I was celebrating Christmas 2022, and heading into 2023, with my friends and family!

I got asked recently was whether I am making any New Year’s resolutions, and the answer is: no.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not a fan of making resolutions–mostly because I find it hard to keep them. I feel like the term ‘resolution’ has so much weight and pressure attached to it that when/if you fall off the wagon or don’t stick to the resolution, then it feels almost shameful. But, isn’t that the opposite idea of what resolutions are for?

New Year’s resolutions are a tradition that have swept across the Western World, with people making firm plans of things they’re going to quit or things they’re going to do for the new year ahead. And, it might seem like a relatively modern idea, but the custom has been around for centuries; although it hasn’t always looked the way it does today.

It is said that the ancient Babylonians were among the first people to make New Year’s resolutions, a mere 4,000 years ago (4th Millenium BC – 3001 BC). During a large-scale religious festival known as Akitu, the Babylonians would crown a new king and reaffirm their loyalty to the monarch. They would make promises to the gods to pay their dues and return things they had borrowed to their rightful owners. If they kept their word, the pagan gods would then bestow favour on them the following year.

A similar tradition also roots itself in ancient Rome, after Julius Caesar altered the calendar and established 1 January as the beginning of a new year, circa 46 BC. (Which is why most of the modern world follows the Julian calendar…). They named January for Janus – a two-faced god, who had special significance for the Romans. They believed that Janus symbolically reflected on the previous year, and simultaneously into the following year; thus, the Romans offered sacrifice to the deity and made promises of good conduct.

For early Christians, January 1st became the traditional day for thinking about one’s mistakes and resolving to do better in the future. Although today they remain a mainly secular practice, and instead of making promises to a deity and other spiritual beings, people mostly make promises to themselves to focus on self-improvement, which is why it can be so hard to keep them.

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I am, in fact, one of those people that finds resolutions hard to stick to. Perhaps it’s because I am too hard on myself when I slip up, or perhaps it’s because I make resolutions that are simply too hard to stick to in the first place and don’t allow myself any leniency, but in all the years that I have made them, I have never stuck one out for an entire year. I think the most I have ever gone is a few months, and then my birthday rolls around in April and it’s like the resolutions never existed!

That being said, I do make goals, as I’m sure most of us do. They’re positive and essential for progress–both personally and professionally–and I would find it weird and somewhat off-putting if somebody didn’t make any goals in their life. (I’m not saying that you have to list them all down like I do, but not having any at all screams lack of ambition to me.)

But, I also find that people aim too high with their goals. I’m not talking about the big dreams, though that is a part of it. I’m talking about the goals leading to the big dreams. People get so focused on the endpoint – where they ultimately one day hope to end up. They bite off more than they can chew, and give up on the dream because they feel it’s unattainable. Say, you dream about writing a bestselling novel. You dream about walking into a bookshop and seeing your work on the shelf. That’s the big dream. But what are the smaller goals to get there? First drafts. Second drafts. Final drafts. Sending work for agents and publishers. Publishing something else independently to get your name out there. Writing something new, finishing it, and sending it to other publishers. All of these smaller goals are as essential as the dream. The small milestones make the big dream possible.

This is my big dream: to walk into a bookshop and see my book on the shelf or on a stand; to see people posting reviews about it on their Instagrams. But this is not something that is going to happen overnight. It is not something that is going to be handed to me on a silver platter. It is going to take work. And, a lot of working towards smaller goals to reach the dream.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with a large goal that you have set your sights on this year, don’t panic. Try breaking it down into smaller, more bite-size, manageable ones. Work towards those. And before you know it, the big dream will only be a few small steps away.

Of course, if you’re reading this post, then you’re probably wondering about the goals that I have this year. Well, without further ado, here they are:

1. Be healthier and fitter. Do I want to have a body that I feel comfortable posting in a bikini? Yes. But that requires work, and change will not happen overnight. My smaller goals are to go to the gym, and try to be healthier than I currently am. But I’m not going to chastise myself if I fall off the wagon. I mean, when PMS hits, am I going to have six million spoonfuls of ice cream to make myself feel better? Probably. But, my body is literally bleeding for seven days out of a month… give me a break.
2. Finish my manuscript. I originally said that I would have finished my book by the end of December 2023, and I wholeheartedly intended for that to happen. My plan was to spend the week between Christmas and New Year knuckling down at my laptop and rewriting and making all the final edits. But, I came down with a cold and felt absolutely rotten. I could barely breathe, my eyes were watering all the time, and the sneezing was uncontrollable. And I know in myself that when I don’t feel the best, the work I make isn’t going to be good. I’m not going to be thinking clearly, and I’ll only half-arse it. And my book deserves more than that. But, I will finish my manuscript this year–hopefully on my birthday, as I started planning it in April 2023. (I say hopefully because I keep thinking up more stories to include, and it keeps getting longer and longer.) However, if I don’t make that deadline, I’m not going to be too hard on myself. The book will be done when it’s done; when it feels complete.
3. Write more. This probably seems self-explanatory, but I haven’t really written much of anything else since I started working on my manuscript, so I’d like to switch it up and write something new, even if it’s just for fun, and even if it’s only for myself. Exercising a skill is essential.
4. Try to make a dent in some of the books on my shelf. It’s overflowing, and I barely read anything last year. I’d like to actually get through at least a third of all the books I own, and one day when I live in a grand mansion with my Beauty and the Beast style library (with the rolling ladder), I’d like to say that I’ve read most of them.
5. Do more things. I only saw four theatre shows last year, which is shocking for me, as I used to go to the theatre all the time. I love watching plays and musicals, so I can’t wait to get back into the audience and watch some spectacular things. I also now work in London twice a week, so there is no excuse for me not to see things when I am there so conveniently. But, I’d also like to go to more exhibitions, events, and do other things that interest me. I have my eye on the Van Gogh Experience, as well as Tom Hank’s new exhibition about space!
6. Spend less time inside my head. Last year was… interesting for me. I spent so much time wrapped up in my cacophony of thoughts and worries about the future that I couldn’t enjoy all the things I was experiencing. But someone said to me that I’m worrying about things that may or may not happen. And, if they do happen, you’re only putting yourself through it twice. What’s the use in that? Very wise and profound words that I think I’ll actually listen to.
7. Spend less money on needless things. I’m sure we all spend a lot of money on things we don’t need–crap that ends up getting piled around the house; coffees we could easily make at home; food we could prepare ourselves. I want to spend less money on the things I don’t need, to spend more money on experiences, holidays, and things I actually want.
8. Drink more water. I hate the taste of it, but it’s good for me, and I don’t drink nearly enough of it in a day.
9. Learn three new skills by the end of the year. I’ve recently learnt to crochet and I’m having heaps of fun doing it. I’m working on a doggie blanket for my best girl – Vera, a Spaniel (who is not mine, but an utter beauty, and it’s impossible not to fall in love with her), and a beanie for myself! Once I have completed these, I shall also be working on another doggie blanket for one of my best friend’s dog – Ollie (as is his current name, but subject to change), who is a beautiful cockapoo! I have no idea what other two skills to learn, but I’m sure something will crop up that I’ll get hyper-fixated on!
10. Go for a walk every single day, even if just for ten minutes. I work from home and barely get out into the fresh air on a day-to-day basis, unless it’s travelling to or from work twice a week. But I’m lacking in vitamin D, and sunlight is good for the soul, so I need to make a conscious effort to, you know… feel it.

Of course, there are more goals that I have set for myself, and I am sure I’ll keep continuing to add to them throughout the year, but these are the ones that I am going to begin with – ones that feel manageable and not overwhelming to me.

Have you set any goals for yourself this year? If not, there is always time. And remember: start small. A small amount of progress in the right direction is still progress.