With the release of The Reappearance of Rachel Price this year, I thought it only right that I should post about the last Holly Jackson book I read, because holy cannoli with a side of pepperoni – what a thrilling, suspenseful and amazing novel it was!
I absolutely loved the first book in A Good Girls Guide to Murder and though I haven’t read the sequels (yet), I knew from the moment this book was announced that I most definitely had to read it! Thus, imagine my excitement and glee when I found an early proof copy on the free bookshelves at work, and got to devour this before it’s official publication!
Boy, oh boy, Holly Jackson has done it again. I can’t even begin to explain how good this book was. From the very start to the very end, I was on the edge of my seat – heart pounding, and palms sweating! Holly Jackson knows how to write thrillers, and I think this is one of the best I’ve ever read.
I’ll admit that it is a little slow to begin with as it’s mostly setting the scene for the rest of the story… but once it picked up the pace it sucked me in like a black hole, and I even stayed up reading until 3am because I couldn’t put it down! For me, the best kind of thrillers are the ones where the narrator is always unreliable, or you consistently question the validity of each and every thing that a character says or does, and I think that is why this thriller works particularly well and is so addictive. There wasn’t a single moment where I was able to predict what was going to happen throughout this novel, and I gasped in shock many, many times.
This novel sees an ensemble of six teenagers on their way to spring break, confined in an RV, and before they know it they’ve broken down in the middle of nowhere with bullets flying at them left right and centre. Why? That’s up to the six of them to figure out… but the only thing that’s for certain: one of them knows. But, which one?
Holly’s writing is the perfect example of giving the audience just enough to keep them engaged with the story, but not giving away too much that it spoils everything. Though written in the third person, she writes such unreliable narratives for each of the six characters, and you as a reader are constantly questioning their motives and dialogue… and perhaps that is where the brilliance of this book lies.
If you’re a fan of twisty thrillers that will have you neglecting food, sleep, and every other daily task so you can finish reading, then this will be one for you!
Favourite Quotes:
✨ ‘One sniper. One gun. One red dot. And one liar.’
✨ ‘This was the absolute worst way to die. Mid-squat-pissing behind a tree while Maddy’s axe-murderer charged at her from the front.’
✨ ‘What are you, the tequila guardian?’ He pointed at her. ‘Right, because I’m Mexican?’
✨ ‘Simon scoffed. ‘Sure, just a misunderstanding. There’s a sniper out there with a high-powered rifle and a laser sight who’s decided to use us as target practice. But yeah, just a misunderstanding.’
✨ ‘Oh, come on,’ Simon interjected. ‘This is turning into Lord of the Fucking Flies. We’re going to end up killing each other, forget about the sniper.’
✨ ‘For god’s sake, Simon, enough with The Office references.’
Sadie hasn’t had an easy life. Growing up on her own, she has been raising her sister Mattie in a small, isolated own, and trying her best to provide them both with a normal life and keep their heads above water. But when Mattie is found dead, Sadie’s entire world comes crumbling down. Sadie is determined to bring her sister’s killer to justice and hits the road following a few meagre clues to find them.
When West McCray – a radio personality working a segment about small, forgotten towns in America, overhearts Sadie’s story at a local gas station, he becomes obsessed with finding the missing girl. He starts his own podcast as he tracks Sadie’s journey, trying to figure out what happened, and hoping to find her before it’s too late.
—
My oh my. It’s hard to know where to begin with this book but I guess I should start by saying that this is unlike any young adult mystery/drama/thriller I have ever read before. The premise of this books was so intriguing, and I absolutely loved the way it was executed. This is a raw, emotional, incredibly dark book, but brilliantly written. The opening line of this book is exquisite, and nothing had never captured my attention and drew me in quite like it. In fact, I think it is one of the best opening lines I have ever read.
I have to admit that I partially listened to to the audiobook version while reading this, mostly for the podcast sections, and I have to say: woah. I didn’t expect it to change the atmosphere so much, but the audiobook is so well done that it’s like it tricked my brain into thinking that I was listening to a real true crime podcast, instead of simply listening to a work of fiction. It completely elevates the experience and I struggled to remember that these characters whose stories were being told weren’t actually real people.
This book presents itself like a puzzle, with Sadie leaving clues as to her whereabouts and what really happened to Mattie, and it is down to the audience, and the podcast presenters, to try and piece it all together to uncover the answers. If you’re a reader who likes a lot of twists and turns, and are a fan of the whodunits, then this might be a good book for you as it will certainly keep you guessing throughout.
As for the ending – I both loved it and I hated it. It’s very ambiguous depending on how you read it, but I can say with certainty that it left me wanting more. I would love for there to be a sequel to this book, bu then again, the ending also left me really satisfied that I feel prolonging or extending the story with another would ruin the suspense, thrill, and mystery of this one.
However, I must say that as much as I rave about this novel, it is not to be taken lightly. In fact, if you are thinking of reading this I would suggest using something like Storygraph or google to research all of the possible trigger and content warnings beforehand, because there are a lot of deep and sensitive things that are explored within this book. It covers themes such as pedophilia, sexual abuse, drug abuse, and murder, not to mention depression, possible suicide, and other mental health conditions. It is a heavy book and not for the feint-hearted. I urge you to open it with caution, in the right headspace, and be prepared that what you’ll read may be difficult at times. But, for those worried – they are not sensationalised. They are real, and brutal, and dark.
I think it would be crass and insensitive of me to say that this was a book that I enjoyed reading because of the content matter inside it. As I have said, a lot of the content inside is not pleasurable or comfortable to read at times, but they are all wrapped up within the mystery – which is written so well.
Ultimately this is a raw, dark, emotional, and brilliant book with a gripping story, and if you think you can read it and have the opportunity to do so, then I would highly recommend (with the audiobook for extra atmosphere!).
Usually this section would be reserved for my favourite quotes, but that too feels inappropriate, so I shall simply leave a few links to some of my favourite true crime podcasts on Spotify which I find utterly interesting.
This book was… okay. It was a quick read, but if I’m being totally honest, I wasn’t blown away by it.
I feel like the best stories are ones where you can suspend your disbelief enough to make it feel realistic – in the way that millions of children reading Harry Potter for the first time fully believe that their Hogwarts letter will be arriving on their doorstep the moment they turn eleven. The same also goes for stories not set in fantasy worlds. When the narrative of a fiction book removes you from the story just enough to look at the characters from an outside perspective, but also not so much that it feels like they’re fiction – that’s the sweet spot. And perhaps it’s because the action in this book takes place over the course of a single day, but I just found it to be too unrealistic and unbelievable that it didn’t resonate with me as much as I would have liked it to.
That being said, I liked the fact that this book has short chapters – some only one or two pages long. It makes for a quicker pace, both physically reading and with the action, and I think for this story it is definitely necessary to prevent it fizzling out. I also managed to read this book in a single day because the writing is easy to follow and not overly complicated.
I also enjoyed the dual perspectives of Daniel and Natasha. The two led nicely in to one another eg. if Daniel was describing Natasha walking into a shop then Natasha’s perspective would pick up directly from the moment that she enters. It was very seamless in transition, and worked well with the overall plot.
Moreover, I also quite liked the ending. It was certainly unexpected for me as I was utterly convinced that she was going to get what she wanted and those last few pages took me by surprise.
I feel like I know a book is really good (worthy of at least four or five stars), when: a) I cry at the ending. b) Go on thinking about the book for days after I’ve finished it. c) Tell everybody I know to read it.
Unfortunately, while this book is a lovely, heartwarming story, it just didn’t impact me very much. However, as this written with young adults in mind, I am not the target audience (as I’m closer to 30 than 20!), and perhaps it might resonate more with a different audience.
Favourite quotes:
✨ ‘Maybe part of falling in love with someone else is also falling in love with yourself.’
✨ ‘We are capable of big lives. A big history. Why settle? Why choose the practical thing, the mundane thing? We are born to dream and make the things we dream about.’
✨ ‘According to multiverse theory, every version of our past and future histories exist, just in an alternate universe. For every event at the quantum level, the current universe splits into multiple universes. This means that for every choice you make, an infinite number of universes exist in which you made a different choice. In this way we get to live multiple lives.’
✨ ‘I don’t believe in love.’ ‘It’s not a religion,’ he says. ‘It exists whether you believe in it or not.’
✨ ‘Sometimes your world shakes so hard, it’s difficult to imagine that everyone else isn’t feeling it too.’
✨ ‘The sun is also a star, and it’s our most important one. That alone should be worth a poem or two.’
✨ ‘Growing up and seeing your parent’s flaws is like losing your religion. I don’t believe in God anymore. I don’t believe in my father either.’
✨ ‘Thing about falling is you don’t have any control on your way down.’
✨ ‘People just want to believe. Otherwise they would have to admit that life is just a random series of good and bad things that happen until one day you die.’
✨ ‘We have big, beautiful brains. We invent things that fly. We write poetry. You probably hate poetry, but it’s hard to argue with ‘Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate’ in terms of sheer beauty. We are capable of big lives. A big history. Why settle? Why choose the practical thing, the mundane thing? We are born to dream and make the things we dream about.’
✨ I think all the good parts of us are connected on some level. The part that shares the last double chocolate chip cookie or donates to charity or gives a dollar to a street musician or becomes a candy striper or cries at Apple commercials or says I love you or I forgive you. I think that’s God. God is the connection of the very best parts of us.
✨ ’Observable fact: People aren’t logical.’
✨ ‘People spend their whole lives looking for love. Poems and songs and entire novels are written about it. But how can you trust something that can end as suddenly as it begins?’
✨ ‘You’re just looking for someone to save you. Save yourself.’
✨ ‘Human beings are not reasonable creatures. Instead of being ruled by logic, we are ruled by emotions. The world would be a happier place if the opposite were true.’
✨ ‘It is better to see life as it is, not as you wish it to be.’
✨ ‘Names are powerful things. They act as an identity marker and a kind of map, locating you in time and geography. More than that, they can be a compass.’
✨ ‘Life is just a series of dumb decisions and indecisions and coincidences that we choose to ascribe meaning to.’
✨ ‘But he’s no planet, just the final fading light of an already dead star.’
✨ ‘Tragedy is funny.’ / ‘Are we in a tragedy?’ he asks, smiling broadly now’ / ‘Of course. Isn’t that what life is? We all die at the end.’
✨ ‘Love always changes everything.’
✨ ‘I think we’re all connected, everyone on Earth.’
✨ ‘Because everything looks like chaos up close. Daniel thinks it’s a matter of scale. If you pull back far enough and wait for long enough, then order emerges. Maybe their universe is just taking longer to form.’
Have you ever read a book and felt as though the author is looking deep into your soul; that it’s as if the author picked up your entire being and wrote it onto the page?
Everything that Abbi described about Nina in this book, I felt reflected in my own personality – from the way she relates to books, to her feelings about people… it was as if I was reading about myself.
In fact, Nina and this book stuck with so intensely even after I finished reading it that it ended up inspiring my instagram handle, @thebookishlifeofbecks.
When I read this quote for the first time, it hit deeply. Ironically, as someone who loves words and writing, I have always found it difficult to express exactly how I feel about my own company and the company of others… and yet, this sums it up perfectly. While I love and crave being around people, often I find it mentally exhausting. I adore having conversations and there are topics which I could talk about for hours, but it is true that I feel the most calm when I am alone – where I don’t have to do or say anything, and I can simple be.
Am I guilty of doing this too? Yes. Yes I am. I will write down lists of books that I have already read in my reading journal, simply because I love the thrill and satisfaction that comes with crossing them off!
But aside from characters, the story itself was actually pretty great too! I loved how Nina was forced out of her comfort zone and realises that she actually had a lot more in common with her new found family than she initially believes. It’s certainly a book that emphasises the metaphor of ‘never judging books by their covers,’ as there could be something wonderful that you’re missing out on.
One of my other favourite things about this story was Lydia’s passive aggressiveness. Usually I don’t like characters like Lydia as I tend to find them annoying and too offputting to warm to, but I thought the development of her relationship with Nina was absolutely wonderful, and how they both warm to one another as they get to know each other better; and, how they both come to understand that they are more alike than either of them would care to admit.
But if you know me, I’m a sucker for romance, especially realistic romantic stories, and this was most definitely that. It felt really organic and natural and wasn’t overly ridiculous or cheesy in the way that a lot of YA romances tend to be. I think that a lot of bookish introverts like Nina are wary about entering relationships with people that do not read a lot of books because they’re worried about a lack of intellectual conversation and that they’ll get bored with their partner because of this; or people like Tom are wary that those women who are self-proclaimed bookworms are potential insufferable arrogant know-it-alls (we’re not)… but actually, this book does a wonderful job of highlighting the peaceful harmony of the two together and the beauty in a book lover/non-book lover romance.
Though, ultimately the thing that I adore most about this book is that it’s essentially a love letter for the quiet, nerdy introverts who believe that will love will never come their way because they’re too awkward, weird, average, or socially dysfunctional to find it. (I feel like this often). Because as Nina will tell you, if you open your mind and your heart to every possibility, you might just find your happily ever after.
Favourite lines:
✨ ‘It is like all good independent bookstores should be, owned and staffed by people who love books, read them, think about them, and sell them to other people who feel the same way. There is reading hour for little kids. There are visiting authors. There are free bookmarks. It’s really a paradise on earth, if paradise for you smells of paper and paste.’
✨ ‘It also meant she thought of books as medication and sanctuary and the source of all good things. Nothing yet had proven her wrong.’
✨ ‘In solitude she set goals and made them, challenged herself, took up hobbies and dropped them, and if she periodically cleaned off her bulletin board and stuck up new goals and plans and dates and budgets and bought a new planner in the middle of the year and started over, so what?’
✨ ‘Some people take energy; some people give energy… Occasionally you ✨get lucky and find someone whose energy balances your own and brings you into neutral.’
✨ ‘Nina had looked around and realized she would never run out of things to read, and that certainty filled her with peace and satisfaction. It didn’t matter what hit the fan; as long as there were unread books in the world, she would be fine.’
✨ ‘You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts.’
✨ ‘If you’re not scared, you’re not brave.’
✨ ‘Being surrounded by books was the closest she’d ever gotten to feeling like the member of a gang. The books had her back, and the nonfiction, at least, was ready to fight if necessary.’
✨ Mystery readers were everywhere, voracious, highly partisan and passionate. They were among the store’s best customers, and unfailingly polite. In private they embraced a bloodthirsty desire for vengeance and the use of arcane poisons and sneaky sleuthing, but in public they were charming and generous. Romance readers tended to be fun and have strong opinions. Nonfiction readers asked a lot of questions and were easily amused. It was the serious novel folks and poetry fans you had to watch out for.’
✨ ‘Tomorrow would be better. At the very least, tomorrow would be different.’
✨ ‘Biology is not destiny. And love is not proportionate to shared DNA.’
✨ ‘You do realise it isn’t mandatory to live your life online, right? For thousands of years we managed to be miserable or joyful in private.’
✨ ‘Nothing. The first thing you should always do is nothing.’
✨ ‘Coming out of a book was always painful.’
✨ ‘Life will throw you curveballs, but it’s rare you can do much more than duck.’
✨ ‘I have lots of favourite books because I have lots of moods and I have a favourite book for every mood.’
✨ ‘Nina knew the double whammy: the emotion itself and the frustration of not being able to out it into words. She’d read somewhere that if you can’t put language around an experience or feeling, it’s because from your earliest childhood, before speech, when everything was inexplicable and overwhelming.’
✨ ‘Life tends towards chaos, sadly. I thought I had my life all planned out nicely, and then… everything changed completely. It’s all very well to have a plan — it’s a good idea — but you have to be able to walk away from it if you need to.’
✨ ‘Do you know the best feeling in the world? It’s reading a book, loving every second of it, then turning to the front and discovering that the writer wrote fourteen zillion others.’
✨ ‘In public, Nina was a quiet, reserved potion; in private she was an all-singing, all-dancing cavalcade of light and emotion. Unless she was a quivering ball of anxiety, because that was also a frequently selected option.’
✨ ‘He wasn’t a poet, but whatever. She wasn’t a competitive skier. It didn’t matter what they weren’t; it only mattered who they were.’
✨ ‘Anxiety is what kept us alive, back in the day. It helps us know when things are wrong, when situations are dangerous or people mean us harm. It’s just sometimes it gets ahead of itself, right?’
✨ ‘That’s one positive thing about texting; you can pause and consider your options, whereas in face-to-face conversation, a silence of three minutes would be weird.’
✨ ‘Maybe there is no real thing for anyone. Maybe all of us change depending on where we are and who we’re with.”
✨ ‘How many people do we encounter every day who might be related to us, or simply people who might have become the best friends we ever had, or our second spouses, or the agents of our destruction, if only we spent more than seconds with them?’
✨ ‘If I walked inot my kitchen at night and flicked on the light and saw a penis lying on the ground, I would definitely scream and hit it with a broom. At the very least, I would climb on a chair until it rolled away.’
✨ ‘It takes a lot of energy to be with other people. It’s easier to be myself when there’s no one else there.’
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