Well, it’s official. I did not manage to complete NaNoWriMo this year, for the second year in a row.
Back in January, I did set myself the goal of writing a whole novel… which I did do, just not in the month of November. In fact, I’ve been working on it for the better part of a year and a half, and it’s almost finished, with just some tiny edits needed.
My second aim was then to have the final draft of the novel finished by November, which also didn’t happen. Work and other commitments got in the way, and it was just one of those things that never materialised. But that’s okay. It happens.
When it comes to something like NaNoWriMo, I think it’s very easy to use the term ‘failed’, as I originally included in the opening pargraph of this post, instead of the world ‘complete.’ But is it true? Have you actually failed simply because you haven’t completed something during a specific amount of time?
Well, firstly, it depends on the context. If in the context of an school test or exam that is being marked by somebody and awarded a grade, then yes, this is a very likely scenario.
But when it comes to challenges like NaNoWriMo and examining failure or success in terms of creativity and art… I think it depends how you define both of those things.
For me, I don’t believe the term ‘failing’ or ‘failure’ should be used when it comes to writing. So you haven’t written a specific word count during the time specific, or you’ve spent more time thinking than putting pen to paper. Both are important parts of the creative process, and feeling like there is some standard or goal that you have to acheive during a certain timeframe can really hinder the process of producing good, interesting, and exciting work. Of course, there are deadlines in the publishing industry which you have to meet… but when it comes to the starting-out writers, the finding-their-voices writers, or the ones who simply write for fun… failure should not exist.
If you’re writing in your spare time, you’re succeeding. If you’re writing full time, you’re succeeding. If you’ve only written ten words instead of ten thousand, you’re still succeeding. If you’ve gone back to the drawing board because something isn’t working in your narrative, you’re succeeding. If you’ve had to start the whole process over again because you hate what you’ve written, you’re succeeding. Every little step you take towards the end goal – of a finished product that you can be proud of, show off to the world, and tell people that you created that – is a step towards success.
As I said, it has taken me a year and a half to write the first draft of my book. I’m not a full time writer. I spend most of my time writing after work, or on the weekends, and sometimes in my lunch break at work if the inspiration strikes. But, I do not force it. I do not force myself to write something just because I feel like I have to get to a certain point in a specific number of days. My creativity doesn’t work like that, and if I try and write when I’m not excited about it, or I don’t have the ideas there and ready to go, then I know that what I am going to produce will not be an example of my best work.
That being said, if you know me, you’ll know that I am a perfectionist. You’ll also know that I can be pretty hard on myself when it comes to my own work. There are days when I’ll designate three hours for writing, but will instead spend those three staring at my screen, doodling in my notebook or watching TikToks that have no productive or inspirational value to my work. And it’s easy for me to penalise myself for this – to tell myself off for not getting anything done. But I’ve learnt that you have to learn to be okay with this, because it’s going to happen whether you like it or not. Some days you’re going to end up writing like your life depends on it because the ideas are so good, and you know exactly what you want to say. Other days, you’ll spend most of your time avoiding the task at hand and produce little to nothing of use to yourself.
As I sit here and write this, I’m tempted to make statements like ‘I’ll try harder next year,’ or ‘next year I will complete NaNoWriMo’… but I’m not going to do that. If I have an idea and end up writing it during the month of November, great. If I don’t… then who the hell cares!
I don’t know if I can speak for everybody, but I can certainly speak for myself when I say that I write for no other reason other than I love it. I’m not writing with the intention of making it to the top of the New York Times Bestseller list. I’m not writing with the intention of becoming a millionaire. I’m writing because I have something I want to say, a story I want to tell, and I want to tell it my way.
So the next time you feel like you’ve failed NaNoWriMo or another similiar challenge, try and remind yourself, that ultimately it doesn’t matter. Creativity is a process, not a deadline. You’ll create your best work when you feel inspired and free. And, on the days when it feels like a chore, sit back and remind yourself the very reason why you started creating art in the first place.